Discworld Series Quotes

‘What is it?’

‘It’s a wolf!’

‘In the city? What does it find to eat?’

‘Oh, why did you have to ask that?’

-Feet of Clay

Vimes leaned back. ‘The alchemists are always blowing things up. I never heard them getting sacked for it.’

‘That’s because no one’s ever blown up the Guild Council, sir.’

‘What, all of it?’

‘Most of it, sir. All the easily detachable bits, at least.’

-Feet of Clay

‘Guild member?’

‘Not any more, sir.’

‘Oh? How did you leave the guild?’

‘Through the roof sir. But I’m pretty certain I know what I did wrong.’

-Feet of Clay

"Sergeant Colon went back to his desk, surreptitiously opened his drawer and pulled out the book he was reading. It was called Animal Husbandry. He’d been a bit worried about the title - you heard stories about strange folk in the country - but it turned out to be nothing more than a book about how cattle and pigs and sheep should breed.
Now he was wondering where to get a book that taught them how to read."

— Feet of Clay

‘Corporal Nobbs is sick, sir.’

‘Oh, I know that.’

‘I mean off sick, sir.’

‘Not his granny funeral this time?’

‘Nossir.’

‘How many’s he had this year, by the way?’

‘Seven, sir.’

-Feet of Clay

‘This is most uncalled for. Couldn’t you have arranged a less awkward time?’

ONLY BY CONSULTATION WITH YOUR MURDERER.

‘It all seems very badly organized. I wish to make a complaint. I pay my taxes, after all.’

I AM DEATH, NOT TAXES. I TURN UP ONLY ONCE.

The shade of Mr Hopkinson began to fade. ‘It’s simply that I’ve always tried to plan ahead in a sensible way…’

I FIND THE BEST APPROACH IS TO TAKE LIFE AS IT COMES.

‘That seems very irresponsible…’

IT’S ALWAYS WORKED FOR ME.

-Feet of Clay

"Hmm. Going thin on top. Definitely a receding scalp there. Less hair to comb but, on the other hand, more face to wash…"

— Feet of Clay

"Letters home always gave him some trouble. Letters from his parents were always interesting, being full of mining statistics and exciting news about new shafts and promising seams. All he had to write about were murders and such things as that."

— Feet of Clay

"He’d actually been rather attached to his old cheap boots. He could read the street in them, the soles were so thin. It’d got so that he could tell where he was on a pitch-dark night just by the feel of the cobbles. Ah well…"

— Feet of Clay

Question #2

Who is your favorite Discworld character?